"Just a Girl"

Being the only daughter in a family of six children, Luena enjoyed special privileges and felt she was often the center of attention in her home. She was not required to use the outhouse like the boys were and before she got running water at the age of six, her mother would let her bathe first in the large tub of water that was heated every Saturday.

Every night before bed, Luena’s mother would put her golden hair in pin curls so that it would look like Shirley Temple’s hair each day. Her curled coif was the envy of the town and compelled one young admirer in her kindergarten class to exclaim to his mother, “She has the most beautiful hair!”

Although these experiences left her feeling loved and cherished in her family, she was often left out of “boy things” and was always taught to defer to a man. Luena would follow her brothers around and try to learn their games, but they never included her. She watched from the sidelines. When there were decisions to be made all of her brothers got a say, but Luena was never asked about her thoughts or opinions.

There was a distinct line drawn between roles of men and women during her childhood. Luena’s parents fit into their roles perfectly and it worked well for them. Her father ran the farm, managed finances, and made a living for the family. Her mother did the washing, made the meals, and minded the house. When either of them needed help, the other would lend a hand.

Throughout her life, Luena has tried to fit herself into the role that her parents taught her to fill. She struggled as a homemaker because she had her hand in the masculine role of bread-winning as a full-time nurse. Luena grew up with the subtle feeling that she was not quite as good as the boys and this feeling has haunted her her whole life. She has never felt like she “measured up” to what she should be. She has always been “just a girl.” Her brothers (now in their 70s and 80s) still treat her the same as when she was a young girl.